oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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