I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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