new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
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I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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