Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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