Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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