it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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