evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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