Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
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And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
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HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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