This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
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...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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