She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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