I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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