Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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