seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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