i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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