$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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