bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The beer is more important than you right now.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize