At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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