So drunk its hurt
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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