dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
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fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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