I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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