there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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