you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize