you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
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Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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