Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
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Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
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I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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