I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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