just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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