in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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