is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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