the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
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I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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