those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize