How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize