i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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