I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
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