Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize