i came on her dog
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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