I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
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Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
This is my gift to your gina
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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