The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize