Where are you?
In a non slutty way
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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