all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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