just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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