y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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