Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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