eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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