So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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