Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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