KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize