Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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