Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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