so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize