I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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